Don't Look
by flawsmadebeautiful
Summary: Don't look now, because maybe you don't see what I do. I've fallen, and you didn't catch me this time. Oneshot Lily/James


**Don't Look**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Lily/James. A bit of angst...

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><p>I've come to realize that I love you. Maybe it was the bright shine I saw in your eyes or your strong heart that leads you where it wants to. It could have been your incredibly strong loyalty and the way your heart rules your mind. You were determined to have me and I was determined to never fall for your arrogant smirk, your witty intelligence and your strength of friendship and love. I knew I was stronger than this. I would not fall for your messy hair, and the way your eyes sparkled behind your black rimmed glasses. I wasn't going to fall like you wanted me to. I wasn't going to let you catch my heart.<p>

Don't look now.

I've fallen for you. But your eyes looked past me now, and you're looking at her. It's like I don't exist anymore. You look right past me and lean in to whisper something in her ear. I can hear every word you say, and the ones you don't say. You used to say those words to me, but I was too late to fall. She smiles and looks at you like your her world. You look at her like she is the only girl in the world.

That's how you used to look at me. Did I do something wrong? I'm not the girl you tell your friends about anymore. I don't even enter your mind, do I? I'm just the girl you used to love. Now you've moved on and I'm the one caught up on you.

You tripped me with that heart-stopping smile. And I fell, hard. But I didn't tell you I had fallen, so you didn't pick me up. You didn't catch my heart, and it shattered like glass.

I have six months to make you love me again. Six months.

You have eyes for her and her alone. How can I make you look at me again? How do I break through to you? How can I be the one you love? What makes her so much better than me?

She's far more than I could ever be, with large brown eyes and blond hair. She's a good actor, and she's perfect if perfection is what you like so much. You said you like my imperfections, so why is she perfect?

You said you loved my little imperfections.

The way I would look at you, the way I argued with you. You said it was sweet when you helped me up anytime I fell. What makes this fall any different?

You, who was always there. Even when I said I didn't need you, nor want you. You stood there defiantly, smiling when I tried to push you away. Little did I know that every time I pushed you away, you and I grew closer. The more sparks that flew from our wands, the harder I fell. When I found out I loved you, I was shocked. I couldn't be horrified, I loved you after all. I was surprised, but not as much as I would have been years ago.

I was your one and only. Now you stand there, laughing at something she told you. Grinning like you used to when I would fight with you. Why didn't I realize I loved you sooner? Why do you see her with the passion I wish you showed me? Am I really jealous of her?

I tell myself I'm not. She's got every right to date you after all. But she doesn't see the way I see you. From our fights, I know your secrets. I know who you really are, and the boy she fell for just isn't you. She doesn't love you the way I do.

I learned to love you by who you are, what you want to be, and your personality. I learned that you aren't what you seem on the outside. I realized I really did love you. And not like a friend, I loved you. I would throw myself from a rooftop if it meant you would live. I would do anything to make sure you were safe. I didn't let anyone harm you.

I stood up, and that's my move that changed everything.

You looked at me with a shocked interest. You thought I was joking. Me? Lily Evans, the girl you had always fallen for, and claimed to love, was standing up to her. I was the one to take a stand against you, for the first time in months.

I stood up and told you how I felt. I told you I would give you the world, and that I wanted you to be mine. I didn't want you to be with her. She wasn't who you needed, and she didn't love you either. I told you that Romeo and Juliet didn't even feel the love I knew I held for you. All the time, you stood there, watching me. As I spoke, I saw the look you used to give me shining in your eyes.

I knew I had you again. You were mine, now I just had to make you sure you loved me back. I stepped back and let you take my spotlight.

You told me that you loved her. That she was your world, but a world that just wasn't yours. You said I belonged with you, in your world. You said you loved me, and that you would marry me right there if you could.

Don't look now. But I think I've fallen for you.


End file.
